Questions for The DB'ing Pros - Help!

[WalkingMan]

Hi Never.

It 's sounds like to me like you have quite an opportunity. you two are at least dating and she has a chance to see the poisitive changes you have made.

1. Phone calls. I would say let her call you, unless it's something important like children or finances. I would also say making her wait is imoportant, but you have to understand the circumstances in which she left and gear your approch accordingly. Listen and be mysterious and maybe vague. Whether you wait to call back or not depends on how important the subject at hand is.

2. Pictures. Once again it depends on your situation. For me, I left some pictures up, but I also put of new ones in order to emphasize my new happy life. She will notice the new pics and it will be a reflection of the new, exciting, mysterious you. whether she has pics of you up at her house or not she must see that she is missing out on something when she's at your place. Remember, beleive none of what you hear and half of what you see.

3. Finances are a difficult. I have my own business and I removed my XW from access. If she needed help and I knew it, I just put money in her account to show that I did care, but that if she wanted to a separate from me she had to be on her own so she could fully understand what it meant. I did separate our bank accounts, but left the joint account open for emergencies, etc. As far as supporting her, I'm not sure about this. My XW had a great career, but she burned through all her money and now is really struggling. I felt she needed a tough love approach, but my sitch is different from yourse.

4. I would say if she's wearing it, maybe you should too. I remember when my XW took hers off the day i got the talk. I think that it hurt more than anything I've ever felt. At least she's still wearing it.

I think you could turn this around granted that she's going out with you still and wearing that ring. Just keep a positive attitude, do 180's and GAl's.

Hope this helps