Dont send mixed messages. Some men are actually...human and do care about us and what's going on in our minds, I know it sounds like science fiction after all we have been thru...
You're right M, it is like science fiction to imagine a R with a man that truly cares & acts like he does.
I have muscle memory that's triggered by the last almost 3 yrs of interacting in a R that has little to offer.
H told me, "You're doing the same thing, you said you would think about it (R'ing) & you still have NG over, so I just did the same thing."
I can't even picture putting up with him & his loony tune ways even one more time.
I'm having an excellent time socially interacting with Mr. Confident right now & have no plans to push anything to the side because H is uncomfortable.
Hadn't had a chance to get back to H, what with having to shower up after my run & all, so the messages are starting to get a little more desperate; "I have time before my next appt & when S6 gets out of school to come over, please call me."
Just received this email from a friend who's H was having an A with one of her best friends:
How are you doing Sunny?? Tell me what's new with you? Did you and H get divorced? My H and I are doing good. Lifes back to normal now, but he's very sorry for what he put me through last year!!!
After the bomb, she went full swing into gucci mode, telling her H she would not be with a man that wasn't faithful, etc. & started socially interacting. Three months later he was begging her to get back together.
Kinda speaks for itself....although I do think the LBS needs to do the work to make themselves into someone no one would want to leave.
Just as I was beginning to think that my H was different.
Yesterday, after dropping hints at S6's open house for parents, he follows me to my car & tells me again that he's made huge mistakes & what would I think about getting back together. Maybe get some c'ing & see what happens.
He doesn't know, we may be back @ this spot in two years...people really don't change.
My response was; I have to get going to P/U the kids, I don't have time to talk. I love you, but I'm no longer in love with you. I'm sorry you didn't feel the need to put actions behind your words. I'm enjoying my life right now & have no interest in doing this again in two years. I like being around someone that treats me incredibly well. This is probably for the best.
Boom, and there it was, my H arguing against D, asking me how I can compare a 10 yr R to one "in it's infancy, where you don't even live together. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"
He went on & on talking about all the positive aspects of our M until I left with a "better get going."
So, 2 weeks until our hearing & it looks like he's doing some serious regretting.
Maybe we should get our stbxs (?) together for some comiserating... Mine is writing me a letter, been waiting for one for 2 long years... It better be big as Homer's Iliad or he is scr$wed!!! LOL K
Had H's family over for brunch Sunday, along with mine. We had an excellent time. I hadn't seen his sister in 7 yrs, so didn't want to pass up the opportunity. There was an elephant in the room which everyone did a nice job of ignoring. H thanked me profusely for hosting such a fun get-together, although every time I saw him he didn't look so happy.
I just received my copy of the recommendation from the mediator regarding visitation & it was scathing. H not only didn't get the 50% he requested, he didn't even get the 28% he would have gotten from me. It was for 20%, no weekday overnights.
Anyway, the importance of keeping record of actual time spent is really important in visitation cases. They try to keep things status quo & look behind someone trying for a sudden large increase in time.
