Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[WalkingMan]

I know it's hard for us LBH's, but it really helped me to have a little 'tough love' compassion as well. I don't mean persuit, or accomodation. Just that understanding takes the sting out of anger.

what's really hard for me is seeing what my XW's life is like for her now. She's having to get a second job selling to friends just to pay for food. She has a professional job, but her financial as well as WAW rage has left her with little left, while I've got smooth financial and emotional sailing.

She's the Monday hangover after a Saturday night out.

I refuse to help her in any way and am moving on or at least acting as if. Maybe she's hit bottom and is now on her way back up, who knows, but my point here is in line with Sandi....that these things take a long time and resolution will probably not occur at least not any time soon. My XW is the most stubborn person I've ever met, but I see cracks in her wall forming now. She's starting to come out of it and there will be WAW flashbacks.

Sandi's right...the moment I started to move on, things started to change. I started actually living the 180's and the as if's.
I became happy again and my XW took notice and beleived it was genuine. Now she's frustrated because I now have the life we had always planned on...but without her. I don't know if there's any chance for us, she had told me that she now thinks we should leave the door open.

The key is TIME and sticking to your positive atitude, 180's and the biggest one for me is positive, good friends. I have to say that I really wanther to totally get all this out of system before I will even consider her again. This for me is the waking up...

hope this helps!