I agree on the "life is not fair", but sometimes there's just nothing you can do about that. For the last 15 years I sacrificed my career to follow my W around from one military assignment to another. I always worked, but had to continually start over at each assignment and work my way up until we moved again. So as a result my overall earning power was diminished. A portion of her retirement will compensate for that, plus I can now stabilize myself and move when and where I want and based on promotions not "reassignments".
As for the finances, what I have try to keep in perspective is that the initial adjustment is going to be the worst, but then as long as you control spending and expenses, every year should get better and better. You just have to navigate and get used to the first year on your own.
