Standing up to my W is kind of what got me here. So in my case, more of that would be more of the same. More of that hasn't worked.
What you call standing up to your wife does not mean taking a stand for your wife or loving her the way she needs.
How would your wife characterise your behavior that you call "standing up to my wife" ? One of the beautiful things about detaching is you can see the interactions like a third party. Helps you see things from a new perspective, awareness and helps develop compassion for your beloved's POV. Detaching allows you to start thinking.
I totally agree with having discernment for you particular sitch. I am challenging you to have a open mind. Let go of dysfunctional beliefs and do the work.
Cheers
This is where we can agree Coach. This is why I told her that I have accepted her moving out. I have not brought it up since then.
She knows this has been the biggest fear that I have ever had. She knows that I want to keep our family together. I told her Wednesday though that if this is truly what she feels she needs (to move out) I will accept it.
I think this got to her, probably only for a minute, but it was done completely out of compassion for her POV. Something that I would have never done before.
Trying to understand her has helped some, because I realized that until I did something like this, everything else would sound like empty promises and effort to manipulate her to her.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
