I'm going to be blunt. You're right, he doesn't care about your pain, your kids pain or suffering. And most importantly, in his mind, you ARE all the reasons why it is OK that he is with OW. It's justificaions for his actions, and validates his leaving.
OW, as many will say, is a drug to him right now. He is blind to the consequences of his actions. And, like drug addicts, he will steal from his own mother just to get another fix.
I spent many a days in the state you were for far too long, thus I hope myself and others can help spare you the bulk of the pain, or at least from re-hashing the same wallowing state over and over. You have come to the right help for guidance and support.
Begin with his stated complaints about you. No, you are not 100% at fault for this, but if you examine and correct your 50% the sooner the better, you will at least come out of this a better person. More importantly you need to stablize yourself for the kids. H was checked out, you need to pick up the slack and be the responsible parent, suck I know, but it is what it is.
Just remember, H is an addict right now, and addicts only get help when they realize they have a problem.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
