Let me ask the tough question here: Hope, are you sure there's no OW?
Next, YOU NEED TO SLEEP. You need to take care of you physically and emotionally. Please please get some sleep. During this time, it's almost impossible to turn your brain off. See your doctor if you need to, but sleep is crucial.
Also, I was served papers. And H was there. He freaked out, not me.
You know what you did wrong. No worries. Get back on the horse and learn from this.
Hope, you really really need to take a step back and breathe, calm down. It's sort of strange, but I was able to handle being served because I imagined it. I put myself through the scenario mentally first. And I did it serveral different ways, and one of them was how I would handle it if H was there at the time....and guess what? I was able to take the papers, I even smiled at the kid deliveringg them. I looked at H, who looked horrified....he then went to play with S in S's room. I read them, was very calm. Pointed out some mistakes in the filing (great lawyer you got there honey) and then I IRONED HIS CLOTHES AND WATCHED FAMILY GUY. Never said anything to him, except when he was leaving...."What do you want me to do with these papers? How do you want me to respond?" He said "I don't know, ask me tomorrow." Know what? Why bother. I know what I'm going to do. He doesn't get a say.
And oddly enough, we're still "dating" according to him!
Admittedly, I want my new marriage with my H. But I'm ready for either outcome. I'm ready to work hard to create a new marriage or I'm ready to work hard at a new life without him.
I know you are very new to this and not as far along as me and we're both dealing with our H's very special kind of personalized BS made just for us, but you can do this. Hope, I promise you can do this.
You made a mistake. You learned. New day. New attitude, new way of thinking. Imagine all the scenarios and imagine, with your DB knowledge how you will handle yourself, what you will say and it will happen.
