Healing my Heart part 7

[fightingirish]

Nc~ Yes my patience with everything is about over. I welcome when he leaves to go to work or an estimate and dread when he comes home.

Its no way to live. I wish there were somewhere we could go, but I don't belong to any church and I can't afford a private therapist. I plan on calling my insurance company again today, to see if there is something they will actually pay for, at least for me.

I don't know what to do, that's the problem. having two little boys makes it that much harder.

I know you have struggled with some of the same issues he has, but there is one huge difference between the both of you, you recongnize the problem and your not that person anymore, he, doesn't think he has a problem, just everyone around him is stupid.

Journaling....

He came home early yesterday... kept my distance from him. I made dinner then after i went upstairs and puttered around. Didn't speak to him all night. He came up to bed for about 5 minutes, only to shut the tv back off and go down stairs to sleep. S3 came in the bed with me, which I welcomed

I had this dream last night, that I met someone, H wasn't in the picture, and I was at peace. It was weird, I felt so good and calm and there was no drama. Don't worry, I wouldn't cheat, it was just nice to feel whole again, and be happy, even if it was just a dream.

He left for an estimate this morning, but he has to be back because S6 has a dentist appt. So I won't really have to deal much with him until later.

I know that sounds terrible, but its much quieter and calmer hen he is not here.