A Crossroads

[Can it work]

Good morning MsM

You're so right about not us not getting the right training in life to deal with relationships. Like you, I too am from a D home but my W is not. That's one of the reasons I hoped she might stick with it and fight for our M. Her parents have been through bad patches the same as any successfully married couple. They always worked out their differences though and are now as happy as they've ever been. They even tried to tell my W when she was talking about leaving that they'd been really close to separating on a number of occasions but are really happy they persevered and worked through it. My W wouldn't listen though. Her mind was made up and nobody was going to change it. So, that's why we are where we are.

I stopped reading R books a while ago MsM. Mind you, I was reading all the DBing books which in the end I feel gave me hope and a way to try new things to save my M. I still believe that they'll work for a number of people but they never claim to work for everyone. Maybe I do need to try the books you've suggested in case of a new R.

It's very hard for me at the moment to not just fall in to a new R because I have had a couple of opportunities. I'm resisting though as I don't think it's fair to involve anyone in my mess of a life just now. I could just go down the typical guy route and not care what happens as long as I'm getting what I want but I feel if I did that, I wouldn't be me any more. Saying that, it's becoming harder and harder to resist. For the company if nothing else. I've never been one for playing the field so I think I'm just going to remain as I am until I'm sure in myself that I'm ready to make the next step.

Thank you for referring to me as a good man MsM. I do my best! Lol. I know that my inlaws have no reason to dislike me and I know for a fact that they do in fact like me. I've even been told by my W's uncle that my FIL thinks I can do no wrong. I know it's really hard for them to spend much time with me though when they feel that they're betraying their daughter. They have to be seen to be supportive of her whether or not they approve of her decisions. We're all adults and have to be left to make our own choices. Saying that, I could never in my wildest dreams known that I'd be marrying in to such a great family. Shame about the actual one I married! Lol. Hopefully, over time, things will smooth themselves out enough that we can all just get along as good friends if nothing else.

Kev