Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

When you can learn to move on with your life and accept the fact that she has chosen the path she has--(doesn't mean you like it)-- and there's nothing you can do about it unless she decides to change her mind.....that is the time when you will start to have peace....and not before. So you are bringing a lot of pain on yourself by continually wondering what it is going to take for her. I know that the acceptance is a mental attitude and you can pretend all day long, but unless it is "real" then it doesn't work. I truly hope you can reach that place BJ.

Sandi,

I do know better. I know that I have to accept my W's decision on the path that she has chosen. It goes against every fiber in my being, but...I don't really have a choice. It's so tough on so many levels, not to mention my sons looking to Daddy to fix everything and make it better.

...it took a long....long time for your W to reach this place of insanity! I wonder if some of you forget that. She may have dealth with a lot of cr@p for many years before her heart went cold. Some men say (rather self-righteously, I might add) that they would NEVER do what their WAW has done to them. Remember....men & women handle things differently.

I don't think it would be fair to NOT acknowledge the fact that it did take along time for the WAWs to reach the point where they did. What I continue to have a problem with my W is the lack of accountability for her 50% of the breakdown of the MR... even when I know better NOT to expect this from her.

One more thing I wanted to point out while I'm at it....and that is those of you who think they would romance their W all the time if only you had a second chance. I know you think you would, but right now...you see this as the "war" to win. But, after you had the "victory" and she was back home and things had gotten back on track again...you would return to the same old routine. At least that is MHO and I think most women of any age would think the same thing.

Well my W certainly feels this way! "People never change" is a phrase my W just loves to repeat. And you know what Sandi, you are right about how we men WOULD return to the same routine eventually UNLESS we truly committed to changing our behavior through regular practice.

Thanks Sandi for another terrific post!