Funny, the less I engage H, the more he engages me. I know... not rocket science...
The fog is lifting ever so slowly.
He just called. Wants status of all of this home improvement stuff going on. Do the boys like their room changes? When is new carpet coming? BlahBlahBlah...
And, a year ago, in a pre-DB argument, he spewed hatred towards anything he ever enjoyed before... "How can I even enjoy my wine collection anymore? I'm NOT finishing the cellar. Waste of time, etc...."
Guess who is interested, NOW, in clearing out the junk in the wine cellar and setting up the tasting table we got him for x-mas ('07), and the wine press he bought right before that....
I'm feeling like I could have written Michelle's chapter on MLC for her, and saved her some time. Just piece together my journal entries.
This afternoon was very sad. I was feeling sorry for myself. Here I am losing weight, firming up, dressing awesome, have a great new hairstyle, being Smiley Suzie, etc..., and THIS much effort yields so LITTLE of a movement? Good Lord! Well, then I read Passionate Marriage for about two hours. Wow. It's covered in tears. It was a rough read. I keep thinking this is mainly about him, but I'm at least half-way responsible for the path that got us here. Understanding is interesting. So, I cried. I read. I cried some more. I found peace. This is the second time I've had a "reading session" with that book, and it's happened both times.
How, how about some passion? THANKUVERYMUCH!
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
