On the verge of a meltdown.

[harpo]

A turn for the worst.

The W returned from her trip today and was anxious to see the kiddo's.she stopped at the house and it quickly turned ugly.the kids have been here all week.started back at school and getting into there routines.she came with some little gifts shirts and stuff like that and while she was handing them out S8 said he didn't want a shirt he wanted to be back in his house and have his family back.at the time I was in the potty so I didn't hear it.she then went down to the family room and D6 asked her if she was ready to move back home yet.of course she said no and S14 asked if it was because of her new (man) friend from work.then S8 told her it was all her fault we didn't live together.during all this I was making diner so I had no idea it was going on until she went storming out of the house.I followed her out and asked what was wrong she said it was all her fault don't worry about it.jumped in her car and stormed off.when I asked the kids what happened S14 filled me in and all I could think was every little bit of progress I have made just got shot to s**t.

After the W left S8 was just a mess couldn't stop crying it was all his fault mom left,he shouldn't have said those mean things.it took a little while to settle him down but he was ok.then we called mom to apologize that went ok for him but then I got the phone and oh boy did she give me the shizel.like I put the kids up to that.she went on and on dragging up dirt for the last 2 decades.I told her I wasn't going to sit there and just let her b-slap at will,that we both had equal parts in our destruction and when she was calm enough to talk about it to call me back.

I feel for the kids though because they are going through some crap right now I try to comfort them and tell them things will get better that we both love them.and I hope it will.

S14 and S12 said that they didn't want to go back to my MIL's house that they wanted to stay at home.this is going to push some more of her buttons and I am not sure what to do.I have been trying to find work with no luck,very well may lose the house soon and the whole sitch has just dropped into the crapper.
I am try to persevere but it is getting tough.chest pains, anxiety attacks headaches I just want to drop the ball and run but I can't....chin up,deep breath push forward...tomorrow is another day.

God Bless