Thanks guys! It really makes me feel good to hear you say that. I agree, it's (slowly) getting through my thick head that these chgs. are for me, so don't worry if H sees them. Well I did see H tonight, first time in almost 2 weeks. He came over because we had some prospective tenants to look at our apt. (above our garage). We used to live there before we were married and for several yrs. after, a long time actually. A lot of memories of our early life are in there. So I didnt' go inside, as I couldn't bear to be in there w him right now. A young couple planning to marry in Oct. was looking, & of course that made me think of us, when were just married... oh someone smack me! I have to stop reminiscing!
Anyway, it was hard to see him tonight, as he walked into the house to get the apt. keys I felt such a pang. Maybe like you feel Bill, when you just want to hug your wife. In many ways it's easier not to see him, like all last week. To see him briefly for business type stuff, then he leaves, it's just devastating. I want to say, let's go get something to eat, why do you have to leave? But of course I didn't. I guess I'm just journaling, or babbling, it's therapuetic to write this out anyway.
Karen, you were right. Since I am going along w the separation agrmt., he's dialed way back re: hounding me. Right now at least. The L I've been talking to sent me a contract but I want to get in to see at least 1 more before I sign w her. I told H I wouldn't have an answer to his email about the sep. agrmt. til next week due to the holiday weekend. He seems OK w that.
Thanks friends, for your input & support. And listening to my sentimental crap! Hope you have a peaceful night's rest!
