This is my first post and I've been thinking what to say for 2 days now and my thoughts are still all over the place so please bear with me My husband freely admits that as much as he loves me, he has no sexual desire for me. We've been together for almost 5 years and been married for 3 and this has been a problem off and on from the beginning. He tells me he loves me all the time, kisses me and we cuddle at night but that's as far as it goes. In that time, he had 3 PA's and no telling how many online ones. The first one was when we were engaged, the other two at the same time last year. When I found out about the ones last year I was going to leave but he agreed to go to counselling and work things out. The result was wonderful but unfortunately didn't last very long. I have always been very supportive of him and been there for him even through the rocky times as he has for me. This year I have been through a lot of changes inside. For one thing, I'm no longer willing to be in a sexless marriage. We went to counselling again earlier this fall and what came out of it was that there were 2 major changes that needed to be made in our lives and neither has happened. We talked the other day about things again and all I got was the same response......he feels bad because the desire isn't there and he doesn't want me to leave. I'm so frustrated on so many levels because I know how good things could and should be between us. We're best friends but we're platonic friends. To me, that's not what a marriage should be. I've told him many times that if the desire isn't there, it's not there and he shouldn't feel guilty about it hoping that would ease the pressure he's feeling. I don't know what to do now. I don't want to leave him but I feel that as long as I stay with him I'm living a lie and being untrue to myself. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!