Yeah, Id say he's smoking something.........but, alas this is my reality.
He is nervous actually, but thinks this will be an opportunity for a great new beginning for us....why can't we have a new beginning within the marriage itself??? I am not so sure. The answer is "Because he cannot and doesn't know how to".
I feel like he doesn't really understand or value the institution of marriage, obviously. He comes from a broken family and I think I may have made a mistake or..........um....underestimated the situation.......in thinking that a person can overcome his backgroud and environment. He envies my family and yet when push comes to shove...(and I do still think this is his mid life crisis) he is choosing to actively break something that wasn't even broken. He thinks this "break" will jolt him out of his....um....I call it a lack of creativity to live life in an interesting and fullfilling manner. But hey! who's asking me?! HA!
Anyways, I am taking the high road in this and trying daily to keep a positive mental attitude. I go from being pist off at his abandonment.......to just being neutral....cuz, I keep thinking this was the worst time he could have done this...except if we had kids....and well...I am getting thru it and am still alive and kicking!
Who knows....I do still know that I would want to give it my all with this person whom I chose to marry and cherish for my life. I know legally its ending...no ifs,ands, or butts......BUT (HEHEHE)....we will see where all this takes me...and how or even if...we evolve in this journey....to find our way back or if not, well...to live our lives the best way we know how!
