Thanks for your input. It is amazing isn't it how many marriages are out there with a problem in differing libidos. This either often leads to other problems or is the result of an underlying problem. How one handles it can make or break the marriage.
I for one think that it is inexcusable when a spouse becomes low libido due to pressures of life, work, children etc. In this case then I think it is the responsibility of the low libido spouse to at least meet the HD one half way. However when the LD is a result of illness or medical problems, be it depression or hormonal or menopause then the HD one should try to come down to the LD level. After all we married in sickness or in health. Sure it is easy to say if you love me, you should try to solve the problem like take supplements or medication (usually this means more medication in addition to whats being taken for the other medical problem) but this is so much easier said than done.
In my Hs case, he has been on serotonin altering meds for panic attack for a number of years now. I know this is really hard for him, having to be on meds. He is constantly worried that his work will be affected by his panic attack. I do worry about him and sympathise with him of course but I am not the one with the panic attack so I cannot know how he feels exactly and I cannot make it any easier for him. His stress in this area has been greatly increased ever since he became a father and I stopped working to look after our daughter. Under such circumstances I suppose sex would be the last thing on his mind. I do regret having pressured him on that before as now it has left a not so nice memory in our time together. This board has helped me deal with my own feelings about feeling unloved, undesirable etc and that on its own has helped tremendously.
I don't feel angry at him for the things that he said. Its been said in frustration. My H seldom raises his voice at me. He is usually smiling and optimistic. His only complain about me is that I complain all the time. So thats an area I've got to work on. Also, I am the one who usually has the communication problem. The only communication I know how to do is either to yell or cry, still got a long way to go to change myself in that area. As for our libido differences, the doctor ordered no sex due to a low lying placenta so don't have to think of that one for some time! (Not an avoidance of the issue but very timely. Bet my H was happy to hear the no sex part. Ok thats being nasty so I'll stop here)
