Nice to see you again and I am happy that I am not the only one who feels this way... When I read what was said (and I understand it is a scenario others may go through, or may contemplate,) it just didn't cut it for me... My loyalty is to God, my H, my boys and my marriage and to date outside (even if it isn't serious) goes against my beliefs... If it came down to that, I honestly don't think I could do it... I can't compromise my beliefs in the hopes of bringing my H around... If it became a deal-breaker, then I would most likely lose and I am ok with that now as well... God Bless
Kett - Perfect point made and now I know I have some thinking to do before I see him again... Don't want to say anything that sounds to harsh yet not to wimpy either... I strive to maintain my strength when we have any F2F talks but this area is where I have a problem... Mainly because for so long he wouldn't give me the time of day.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
When you post here, get advice from others, talk to family, friends, church members etc... Do you take all the advice to heart and follow it or do you sift through it & use what you feel is good for your sitch?
Does anyone trust their "gut" more often then not?
(((Hugs))) to all
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I use all the advice I get and filter it through what I personally know about my W. If I believe a certain course of action would impact negatively on her, I will shy away from it. If the person giving the information has a reason why it would work even if it is negative at first, I would tend to go with it. After 10 years with my W, I have to consider my gut feelings as well as any advice.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I tried to do what I "thought" was right and it was getting me nowhere...Using the advice I got here I was finally able to move forward, with me, my M that's another story.
When I used my "gut" I did A LOT of acting without thinking, now I think A LOT before I act.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
I haven't heard a word from H since the 2nd of this month - 7 days without a text/call/email...Not even to check on the boys...Not since he stood in front of me and proclaimed he loved me more then he loved her - Why is this?
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
Gucci - I appreciate your honesty... I know what you said is the truth and I have been trying to do this however it is a slow process for me... I am afraid of pushing him even further away...
Hi S13,
It would seem like he can't get much further away, if he's gone this long with no contact, yes?
My suggestion would be -- if you get another shot at this with him -- to follow Gucci's advice and some of the others (including myself) who've advocated a tougher stance.
I think your husband feels like you'll be there waiting for him, if and when he does decide to contact you or come home.
As always nice to see you and hope all is well with you...I am not sure (short of filing or dating someone else) what to do next...I don't contact him at all...I don't give him money anymore...I do my own thing as well as with the boys...I really don't know where to go from here.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
