Just want my H back

[Lost Rabbit]

Hi hhh

Hope you dont mind me reading your sitch, my H has been gone six weeks now and tbh tonight Im not coping at all well, so admire your courage for keeping going so long. I have always said that adultery was not something I'd ever accept, but honestly now I'd probably even forgive him as I want him back home with me so much. Sorry for waffling just thought it would help to start saying hello to a few more folks!

[LookingFrAnswers]

Hi H,
Just checking in to see how you're doing. I know what you mean about fear. I've felt it a lot especially this past few weeks. I can't add to the expertise you're getting here, but I read something very comforting, about being quiet & hearing God whisper the answers in your ear. I'll find it & send you the link. Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. Hope you can relax and enjoy, like Stronger says. And get some rest tonight!
LFA

[Deep]

Hi hhh, I think I meant if there was an OW, it'll be worse. He will be happily slipping into lala land and blaming you for keeping him from happiness.

But since there's probably no OW from your observation, that'sa moot point

[LookingFrAnswers]

Hi H,
Here's the post I was talking about that I liked by Poet: (still don't know how to work the quotes thing!)

"Now hear this:
Trust yourself. Quiet your thoughts as best you can. And, listen to the still small voice in your ear, to see if you can find your own answer to your question. Often that voice is God talking to you. Pay attention and pray!

That's my best advice. And, take care of you!
poet"
Here's the link:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1780149&page=12

I dont' mean this as pushing prayer. I am really not a religious person, but believe in God. It comforted me, so I send in case it may do the same for you. If it's not your thing no worries. I think sometimes just stopping the madness of thinking ALL the time about it helps me. Thanks to Poet for writing this & I hope she doesnt' mind my quoting her! Wishing you strength,
LFA

[hhh]

Help!! You guys I feel sick to my stomach...was doing OK and then just got a text this a.m. from H saying: "what's your schedule this week? when's a good time to talk?"

This has got to be THE conversation I've been dreading for so long! He's been out of the country and traveling for awhile, and we haven't seen each other in almost 2 months (limited emails and texts only since then). Help! What do I do? We're in different locations so it will be a phone call for sure.

Aak...I am scared! Please help.
Thanks,
-hhh

[hhh]

Gucci/others-
Would love your thoughts. I texted back that busy w work later in the wk but today works. i dont think it sounded too eager but i'd rather talk by phone on a day-off than during the week while I'm working. I won't be back in Boston for over a week and I don't know if he's back there or still in L.A. He texted me back "ok, i'll try to call later today" I bet you he won't. He's being a coward in a way and I'm tired of these games.

Yikes! I need to be calm, cool and collective but am nervous for the bomb (again). Interesting enough last night I actually did go out on a date. I need to remember there are other guys out there, even though I don't think I want anything further w guy from last night.

[Stronger]

Well, you can't very well hide from the conversation. So it's time to act as if...I would recommend you act as if you are in charge and you know you are going to be fine no matter what happens.

Calm down and understand you owe him no answers today or tomorrow. Find out what he wants to talk about, get his information on whatever it is and say nothing. Tell him, "I understand what you are saying and I need to think."

And really, you really don't know what he's going to talk about or say, so stay calm.

[hhh]

Thank you Stronger. He called about an hour ago but I was out of the house and didn't get my phone. Don't think I'm going to call back tonite...wait a day or so. I don't always want to be on his timeline for everything. I took a nice walk today with my mom, and was actually feeling a little giddy from my date night last night, so all good. Thank goodness I am out in CA with my family this week vs. in our apt alone.

His message was just that we hadn't caught up in awhile, should probably connect this week, how am i doing, etc. relatively neutral tone but it's gotta be about getting the ball rolling or picking up his furnature or something. But calm is important and I am trying to think of his negative qualities right now and think I am fine no matter what. I have a full work day tomorrow so don't want to have this conversation right now, but again, want it sooner rather than later.

i think i may try tomorrow afternoon...knowing I have the buffer of staying here w my family and friends through this weekend will help also.

Thank you for your support. I am trying to not let fear overcome me and act as if I'm in charge...you are right.


Hope you all had a nice holiday weekend.
-hhh

[Stronger]

Good for you hhh.
Do it in your time.

[RedSoxFan]

I am trying to not let fear overcome me and act as if I'm in charge...you are right

You are in charge