Quote: Now would somebody be so kind enough as to tell me how to achieve that level of communication with your spouse especially since this lack of intimacy has already become such a highly sensitive issue. I would be most grateful.
Hey, Luv: I can't tell you the magic words, but I'd like to hear them, too, if anyone has them.
Quote: Yunno Lucy, the excuses sound so alike you sounded like me posting. What I would really like H to say instead goes something like this "Hon, I'm not sure why I have so little interest in sex lately (its not you), maybe its the meds I'm taking or the stress I am going through at work etc, I hope you can bear with it for a while. Please tell me if you can't and we will try to do something about it together. I know its important to you and so its important to me too and for our marriage."
The excuses Lucy cites are echoed here, too. And like you, Luv, I'd feel much better if my H would say something along the line of what you posted. It would do so much to help me feel better about our sitch.
In another thread I told about playing darts night before last and how afterwards it dawned on me that H and I have finally achieved sexual equilibrium. We played a game of darts and he won by putting 3 darts in the bullseye. I watched to see if he’d leave one there. But no. He took them all and played a game against the computerized board. Then he put them all away. Know what? I found I just didn’t care. Maybe it's the med I'm on, maybe I've been rejected so many times I've given up the fight. I don't know.
I slept all through the night last night. First time in a long time. Didn't even get up when H did. When I *did* get up about 20 minutes ago I noticed he'd put the dart in the bullseye of the dartboard. Know what's funny? It didn't 'grab' me like it would have in the past. I'm sort of "Oh, yeah. Ho-Hum." Won't say no, but the excitement just ain't there right now.
With the med I'm on, a decrease in sex drive is not one of the side-effects, so that leaves repeated rejection.
I definitely 'feel' for those of us HDs using this thread to vent. Maybe we can help each other pull through this.
