"I'm sounding so harsh, but I said those same things to myself. I wish I could have had someone that would have knocked some sense into my head and told me to shut up and stop acting like a child. It's nonsense, and because of my nonsense I'm dealing with a much bigger problem than I had before my affair. Married is married."

Again No you are not sounding harsh. To me you sound compassionate about marriage. But see what it took to get you there? I hate to say it and I am not saying this because I want to have an affair or I want to get even.
I am afraid I blew the opportunity in the beginning when the affair first came out. That was the time when I should have held my wife accountable.
YES I KNOW IT WAS NOT THE AFFAIR. But that was the time when loosing everything was possible and my wife would not have settled into her comfort zone.
She needs an eye opener again. Not I having an affair but something that makes her realize that tomorrow will not be just another day.

Honestly if after finding out about your affair your husband would have said ‘oh that’s great. I am so glad you enjoyed yourself” and then everything was back to normal would you still be trying? It was the fact that you realized what you did and what was happening to your marriage and the hurt it caused that made you think… right?

FYI.. Wife is going on a camp trip with her cousin on Tuesday and will not be returning until Thursday after I leave and I will be gone for a total of 10 days… this is the longest time we have been apart in years….

WHen is this thread going to lock up….?

And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know