Your ship (marriage) is taking on water and you are trying to fix the leak. Your wife has on foot on deck and another in the lifeboat (OM). She will get real interested in fixing the leak once you cut the lines to the lifeboat. So you as the Captain of your ship, which is what she is looking for, must take charge and be a leader.
"Wife, I have decided that I will not share you with another man. If you have anymore contact with OM, I will ask you to be out of the house in ____ days."
This is nothing more than a healthy and respectful boundary for all parties. You clearly and boldy state where you stand. She gets to choose by her actions what her consequences will be. This is a non-negotiable subject for a marriage you want to be in. This also shows your wife your confidence, love and dedication to saving the ship and in your ablilities.
You have to have the confidence that you will save the ship regardless of whether or not she chooses the lifeboat or to jump onboard with you. You can't control her but you can take charge of your life for the better starting now. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
