Guys - I see that my "miserable" thread is FAR more popular than the "yippee" one which seems to have vanished into the depths. I think I realize why. Why break up a story into different parts. This is a continuation and deserves to be here in it's entirety.
Sandi, what you said really REALLY got to me. Because it made me realize something.
Cas - you just put the cherry on the top.
You know what they say about truth hurts? You know WHY it hurts? Because this is what I've been missing in my life.
THIS is what I should have been doing all along. What's been missing is "me". Faith has always been there. Faith in me, my W and for what I've been working so hard to accomplish.
Now I've found "me" with the help and support and encouragement and... well you get what I'm trying to say, from you lot!
I feel free. I feel like a barrier has been removed. I can breath again!
As an aside and something that'll really get up your nose (smugness creeping into Mac here?). I've been SO busy and BUSY with the W that I've not had any time to pop in here to see you guys and tell you what is waiting for you round the corner. It's been three days of absolute bliss. We're both very very tired from the release of all the tensions affecting both of us through this time apart.
I've just left my W - in the nicest possible way. Doing what she enjoys doing. And with not an ounce of jealousy.
Someone told me tonight when I told him the news that he saw in me the "problem". The "smothering" mac. And warned me to watch myself. He just could not believe that this will never be a problem to me ever again. He could not believe that something he saw as being so fundamental has been laid to rest. Who's problem is this? Not mine. I know where I stand.
Enough of this banter. I'm busy preparing a lovely meal for when the W comes home after work so I need to do my husbandly thing and get on with it.
My W knows about you lot. But she doesn't really "know"! She's happy that I can pop in from time to time to see how you are progressing. And to offer support, 2x4's when applicable and every encouragement to carry on with what you believe.
I'm hoping that one day soon you'll see the W adding her 2c worth. Lets wait and see.
Gotta go cook!!!!!
I'll be back very very soon. Count on it. Count on yourself.
And just to prove that things can change in a very short length of time.
This is a text just received from the person who not so very long ago would not have given the time of day to me .....
"Thank you lovey, thank you for the visit, It was a nice surprise. See you later. Keep my side warm. Thank you for the food. Lots of hugs and kisses. X X X"
Thanks Mac. It's great to know we will continue tohear your ongoing words of wisdom. The 'smothering' Mac has also registered with me and my thoughts that i really must let go and see where it may lead.
I'll have a special treat for you all very soon. A blow by blow account of the drive down to the end of the tunnel. Sorry I've not been around as much as I'd want but we've both been busy
Wow - this thread's a goldmine. Gardner, sandi2, dia and all the wonderful people who gave 2 x 4's, encouragement and thoughts - you're all my inspiration and my hope.
