Quote: It sounds to me (having been there myself over other issues) that your husband realized he'd messed up big time but didn't know how to SAY he was sorry. So, he's doing about everything he can think of to SHOW you that he is. Is this typical behavior for him? If it is, you may be better off accepting this apology for what it is. Not everyone knows how to express themselves verbally -- especially when they're in "deep kimchi." You're the one who knows your husband (although I don't mean to say you can read his mind).
If on the other hand this is what he does to AVOID apologizing in any form, he probably needs to be called on it. It all comes back to the intent behind it, and only you can judge. Good luck!
Hello VA,
Thanks for helping me put on my thinking hat. Well, my Sun would have gone on exactly the same way even if we hadn't argued on Sat so no, my H was not going all out to do whatever he could as a form of apologizing. Come to think of it I don't remember a time when H apologized to me for anything, ok only once when he had a PA some time ago. Usually its me who says I'm sorry and then he will say something like "Its ok, we were both under stress" but then again usually its me who starts the arguments to begin with.
My H is still his usual sweet self like the argument never happened. Do you think I should just take his cue? I hate to not say anything further because to me there are lots of unresolved issues but if I do he'll just think I'm complaining again and he will get annoyed. I think, to him, he feels there are no issues and I should just stop being a pain and be happy for whatever we have.
Ok enough babbling. Not sure if I'm making any sense here so I had better go. LH
