Quote: How does one overcome the feeling that it's obligatory, though? It seems to me that what's going through H's head is: "I told the C I would do this one more time before Wednesday and by God, I will." Where's the desire in that?
Hello Rose,
I think you're thinking too hard to the point of even imagining what your H could be thinking during ML. Why not just relax and enjoy it? Why not just apply Michelle's "Just do it" to yourself? Forget about wondering "is tonight the night?" How could you possibly get in the mood when you're thinking "he is just doing this out of obligation". So what if he is; the first couple of times. Thats why you're into counselling and trying this out isn't it? Just do it and keep on doing it until you both find the rhythm. Just do it, don't think.
I think Jiji gave you really sound advice on your letter and I also agree with what Honeypot said about men finding such things too wordy. I know my H absolutely hates receiving such letters from me. I think his mind shuts out after the few sentences and at the end of the day my message doesn't get across after all.
