You'll never see me fall from grace

[Sugar and Spice]

I am so freaking FRUSTRATED today!! I have been telling H for a long time now that he needs to make an effort to make our DD8 feel special. To spend 1 on 1 time with her as he has always done with our DS13 and now with his D9mos. He is always playing ball with my son or doing something with him and he babysits his child from the OW quite a bit, so he gets plenty of alone time with each of them. He does not however do that with my DD8, nor does he really make an effort to and it hurts her. This came out while the kids were in IC and I tried to tell him then and it became a fight. He has promised to take her to several movies and only a few of them have actually happened and even then, most of the time we all end up going, so there isn't much interaction between just the 2 of them.

We were talking on the phone this am and he said something about taking her to a movie and the conversation progressed from there. It drives me nuts because he REFUSES to see or hear it and yet, he feels the same way about his mom. According to him its just MY OPINION. I know I can't make him see it, but what other motivation would I have? I know it must be hurtful to hear, but if it was something I was doing, I have no doubt he'd tell me and I would expect him to. I also suspect he knows its true and thats why he gets so MAD about it.

We ended up going back and forth texting and the first text I got was: what you say on my relationship with DD8 is only your opinion, doesn't make it a fact! I get tired of you telling me how things are! then after I replied I got: this is the chit I can't stand.

It also doesn't help that apparently the last couple of days the Troll has been giving him hell about him not treating D9mos the same as my kids. My only response to that was, well I'm sure I could say the same thing. Probably shouldn't have said anything, but she is the last person to complain. She won't let him take the baby anywhere where I might be, then complains because he doesn't treat her the same? Too much.

Any suggestions on how to address this without it becoming a war?