Quote: would roll away, or position his body in such a way that made it impossible.
Bingo. Same here.
Quote: For example he will allow me to rub his shoulders and stomach now, even if he's not sure where it will lead.
We're still at the point where the only times I can do this is if he's fully clothed somewhere other than bed or when I've made it clear that it's NOT leading to sex. We're not at the point you and your H are, yet.
Quote: Now he has embraced the idea that even if HE is not in the mood, that I might be and that both of our sexual needs deserve to be met.
We aren't quite that far, yet. We are still driven solely by his needs. If he's not in the mood and I am, I'm SOL.
Quote: Well, I doubt this is making a lick of sense
You make perfectly good sense. Your situation shows me where this whole process can lead. Gives me hope. Thank you!
Quote: . . .just wanting some reassurance that you DO appreciate his efforts . . .but maybe explain to him later that it isn't the physical act of sex itself that gets you all tingly, but his enthusiasm.
I've verbalized this repeatedly over the past year or so because it bothers him that I don't come to orgasm. I've told him that I get much enjoyment out of the journey itself, not just the destination. I've tried to explain my need for more stimulation (visual and physical), but to date it has fallen on deaf ears. My Ex was very, very fast and often a premature ejaculator. I had to get myself ‘up’ well in advance. And I never had an orgasm that I didn’t help facilitate.
I've not had to deal with a situation where my partner is LD. In fact, when I first came out to visit H prior to my moving in with him, he was a completely different man. Sex was a couple of times a night. There was nothing he wouldn't try to help give me pleasure. It all came to a screeching slowdown when I moved in. Ask him why and he will answer, "I don't know."
Ah well, tomorrow is another day and tonight he's teaching me to play darts.
