Quote:

Off to edit and revise,




Yes, I'm following up on my own message. Just got off the phone with H (we speak every day during his lunch hour). He asks, "Are you still tingling today?" I thought for a moment and phrased my next comments along the line of Jiji's suggestion:
when you didn't give me any advance warning I was basically in ShutDown mode and wasn’t as ‘primed’ as I would have been if I had more time to think about it in advance.

I then went on to point out that he seemed more serious last night

When you are in a happy and relaxed mood at the time you initiate I feel as if you are enjoying the sex as much as I do. When it is too serious I feel that you do not much enjoy it, then I feel worried that this may be because you do not really find me attractive.

I didn't use these exact words but paraphrased.

He apologized for not cluing me in beforehand and told me that he *did* have fun. Hm....could have fooled me. (No. I didn't really say that. )

He asked me if I wanted to take last night back. Huh??? I replied, "Oh, you mean have fun again tonight?" Well, no, that wasn't what he meant. Then he got all quiet. Should I have lied and said all was great? Somehow I don't think that's the answer, either. <sigh>

We decided that we need some sort of sign between us, something to serve as a subtle clue. Winking is out because he does that all the time.

We ended the phone call with several ILYs and "I'll see you after work." I guess this is what was meant in a previous message as "Two steps forward, one step back."

More editing and revising on the way,
Barbara

Domestic Abuse Survivor since 6/26/2002