Journaling: Thursday morning: D6 started kindergarten this morning. She woke up early, I woke up with her and helped get her lunch ready. W came up after lunch was made and said thank you. We were watching Talia pick out her clothes and my wife looks at me and says: "I know you can't give me a hug, but I am going to give you one and wraps her arms around me." She then follows D6 out of the room.
I sat there thinking that sounded very demeaning. After about a minute, I walked into the bathroom. M: "It's not that I can't" W: "I understand." M: "It's that I won't." W: "OK. I understand." M: "What you are doing is very destructive to our family." W: "Do we need to talk about this now. You are bursting my bubble. Lets just focus on the girls right now." - She was now agitated
I walk out and go downstairs for a while. When she came down, I acted as nothing happened. We both escort D6 to kindergarten (they asked parents to join children on first day). W didn't talk much during the event. We walked back and conversed a little, nothing big.
In general, I am feeling pretty good. I know this confidence stuff is coming slowly, but I think I am moving in the right direction. Thank you all for the criticism. I need it. It makes me a better man.
Love that, you are "bursting her bubble", it's a good thing it's just her, things would really be a mess if your "bubble" was bursting ;-)
You communicated honestly without being hurtful or derogatory, what she is doing is hurtful & destructive to you & your family and you don't have to reward her with your attention and with acts of affection like hugs because that would be rewarding her for her bad behavior. Bust her on her bad behavior - what you're doing is wrong and it's destructive to our family.
