I think this letter may need some modification as it seems a bit too accusatory and complaining. . . That might upset your H too much and put him off. I mean think how you would feel if he wrote a similar thing to you. It is a good idea to write something down but try and put it as positively as possible, although still being honest of course.
Completely correct, Jiji. What I posted was stream of consciousness ramblings that I have been editing and revising all day. I do know about putting statements like I have into the form using "I" (I feel/ I am/ ) Little by little, I'm going back over the letter and doing this as the last thing I want is for it to sound accusatory.
Quote: When you didn't give me any advance warning you planned to initiate sex I felt pressured to go ahead even though I was not really in the mood myself, as I had spent all day trying not to get aroused as I didn't want to feel disappointed/frustrated
See, the problem with me is that I'm always in the mood whenever he's around. Seriously, though, you hit a nerve. I do find myself tamping down my feelings so as not to be disappointed and by the time it gets to -- say 8pm -- and I've gotten no indication that he's even remotely interested, everything goes into ShutDown mode.
Quote: Hope this is good advice
It is. Thank you. And I will be revising my letter accordingly.
Quote: Keep up the being nice bit too. Remember he is trying
Being nice to him and doing nice things for him are like second nature to me. I love him so much that at times I think I love him too much. Is that possible?
Quote: Maybe you could give your letter to the counsellor to read first and ask him if he thinks you have expressed yourself well.
You think so? I don't want my H to think I'm doing a surprise attack on him. I mean I do intend to voice some of my concerns tomorrow anyway. You think I should let the C see what I wrote and let C take it from there?
Quote: Well that's enough advice for now. I'm going to post something on my own thread and you can come give me advice to get me back!
I appreciate the time and effort you (and the others) put into posting on this thread. It's informative and enlightening and I would never post to get you back.
Seriously, though, you hit a nerve. I do find myself tamping down my feelings so as not to be disappointed and by the time it gets to -- say 8pm -- and I've gotten no indication that he's even remotely interested, everything goes into ShutDown mode. 
