John said I sound like I am regretting a few things maybe and that there are lingering feelings etc etc...
I just cant hate him. I cant deny I loved him and that the love I had for him was ...great.
But I am accepting it is gone and I am in the process of turning the page for good. I have no doubts and dreams related to him anymore. But I do want him to be well and I wish we will be good with each other for the rest of our lives... Because that's what I have to accept. I cant keep the anger alive so that I can cope with the loss. That is done. Weve been sperated for 2 years. I had strong feelings for someone else. I am not grieving now the loss of my M. I am dealing with the deceit and the lies. My M has been gone for 3 years now...
I am sad, and I will be sad for a while, I think. But I am also feeling good and calm today and thank God it has been sunny... K
