Thanks oc, but really - I am unfazed by the talk. My body has been showing signs of stress (which I actually don't mind - needed to shed a few pounds anyways), but I haven't been thinking about it and I've totally been able to function normally.
I feel that it really is a rash decision that he suddenly wants to file when he's remained stagnant all this time. Found out that he had spoken to friend and his wife the night he called me. I think wife, meaning well, said some things that pushed him to think this is the right thing to do. I don't think he came to this decision out of any sort of growth on his own part. Funny, because when I asked him why now, I was waiting for him to use the 2 phrases I used: closure and moving on - which he did, and which immediately told me he had spoken to friend.
The D may very well go through, but I will let him initiate everything and be the one to get things in motion. I'm slightly annoyed - I know friend means well, but I don't think she has any concept of MLC and how this is their own personal journey to be completed on MLCer's own timeline. I won't be surprised if H goes running back in to his hole. If he doesn't and continues to try to reconnect, then that's great. I'm hesitant to open up and make myself vulnerable because I don't trust H enough at this point and don't know how sincere he is in wanting to know how I really am. Not sure he's ready to face up to what he's done. Thinking back on the conversation, he did seem different, but pretty much all of his expectations of D were out of whack, which really shows he hasn't given it much thought.
After H gets back, I'll give him 2 weeks to set a date for us to meet up alone. If he doesn't do it in that time, I doubt he will anytime soon.
And the saga continues...
(btw, going with what my gut tells me here. or am i just in denial?)
