As I was laying stuff out last night, I realized that she wasn't as prepared for all of this as she seems to think that she is.
She doesn't want to file. She just wants to move out. She has no plans for health insurance. She doesn't want to go through dividing up our stuff. She doesn't have a place yet (I thought she did), doesn't have a realtor, doesn't have much $$ for a downpayment. I asked why she is looking to buy instead of rent and she sais the payments are a lot cheaper (she may be right). Then she followed that if we work things out between us, we can figure out what to do with the second place then. ----work things out?????? She said something to this affect before. Previously I said that if we're going to start trying to work this out, let's start trying...before we go through all of this. This time I did my 180 and just went with it.
For some reason she feels she needs this. She has such issues with control all she sees is "the bad man is out to get me." I have wondered how someone can watch their husband who loves them so much try so hard to be a good many for them then respond by being hurtful and angry. It's making a little more sense now though. She's so "fogged" up right now that every time she sees the changes, she sees them as my way of getting her to do what I want her to do.
We spent the rest of the night apart after the conversation, but I really do think that it took some of the kick out of it for her. It seems like the reason that she has been so adamant about moving out is that she wanted to show me that I can't "control" her. This is rediculous.
As far as I know, she is still planning on going, but she is leaving the door open for reconsiling. WTF?
Anyone have any experience with getting through to someone with major control issues? (W's mom is a control monger...I blame her)
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
