living with the turtle

[cat04]

I'm glad you got to see them. The nature around here is unlike anything I've seen up and down the entire east coast of our country. I have a hawk that lives in the tree in my back yard, a turtle that makes circles around my house, heron that come and eat in the front yard, along with possoms, racoons, deer, squirrels, and some of the ugliest bugs that I've ever seen. LOL. No wild iguanas here, but they are further south of me and oh yea, wild parrots.

I do know what you mean about something missing. I think most of us do, but I'm glad you and the kiddies had a good time.

Has your friend said anything about the "waking up" process? I do believe that this is not something they can control. I do believe it because even though I have several mentally ill people in my family (truly diagnosed mental illness), I have heard the craziest, saddest stuff from H. And I know deep in my core that even though we were very young when we met, I am not that bad a judge of character and then of course, there are still the moments when the "real" him peeks out. And I can see the stuff swirling around in his head almost literally. Even if I don't know exactly what it is, although I do have a good idea, and it is sad to watch and know I can't do anything for him.

So I'm getting ready to tackle a new project. I get the Lowe's idea books in the mail every month and they had this gorgeous planter for flowers. I am going to work on it this weekend as I am actually getting a weekend where I can hang around the house. Rare around here. S drove yesterday and scared the crap out of me. On the main road with traffic. I am going to have a heart attack in the next year for sure LOL. H was home yesterday. He, for the first time in the 16 years we have lived together, got to see what a day in my life is like. I used to do all housework, etc... when he was either asleep (he worked nights for years) or when he was at work because I wanted to be able to attend to him when he was home. His schedule has changed again and now if I want to do stuff, sometimes he is here. I don't know what came over me, except that I didn't feel like I need to be available to his every beck and call, he is a grown up, that I went about my normal business. I think he was totally surprised by how much I actually do around here. I honestly think he has always believed that when I'm home, I don't do much (I guess the fairies kept the house clean). But watching me, seeing what I do, talking about his shopping list that went from four items to twenty as we added things for the house (no I didn't tell him what was needed even though he asked, I made him do what I do and open his eyes), I know he was surprised. He never realized and probably only sort of does now, what it really takes to keep his life running. Being an adult is a lot of work. A lot more than he ever thought.