Just my two cents and call me an optimist, but I think you BOTH can save this marriage if you BOTH want to but it will require time, dedication, and lots of work by BOTH of you. You and your H have some significant issues that need to be address, both individually and eventually together.
I think the best course of action for your situation would be if your H could move back to the same area as you, however I think you should remain living separately for the time being until you resolve your low self-esteem issues and he learns why he has been unable to a committed and faithful spouse in the marriage, is willing to resume a completely transparent relationship with you, and treat you as an equal partner in the marriage.
Then you will need to decide if you can trust this man and have a healthy relationship with him. Good luck.
