WAW Using God

[pigskin]

Journaling:

Well, I pretty much went all in during a discussion yesterday. Put my foot down on all contact, explained how it is disrespectful to me, our home, our kids, and our marriage. I demanded that it all stop now. W was emotional during the talk, I was passionate and firm, but not emotional.

Basically said it stops now or you go. You either stop this now and rejoin the family or stop sitting on the fence and get a move on with what you are going to do. My tolerance for this behavior is at an end. Then directly said, "What are you going to do?". W said she needed to think about it. I said its been since May. What more do you need to think about. Then she mentioned about wanting to learn more about minimizing the effect on the kids. I said I'll get them and tell them the truth. She didn't want that. Wants to explain in a kid friendly way together.

She talked through tears about how she doesn't want to try anymore, she's tried for years and now she's done. I said the current situation is unacceptable, if you are done, then file. She was pretty upset and mouthed the word "OK".

Later in the conversation I said something to the effect of "why quit and give up on tomorrow, there is so much potential here if you just get past the wall you've built up and seriously commit to making things better."

I said get rid of your relationship with the OM and commit for us, and the family. You think about it. Left her with a good night kiss. She came to bed later, we didn't speak and went to sleep. She got up in the middle of the night because she couldn't sleep. No more discussion, but did say goodbye before going to work.

I really hope this helps. The OM is likely done with his relationship and is planning to move out. That will be an easy spot for her to go to if she leaves. But I don't think separation will be in the cards. If she leaves, she might as well just file.

It's all in the Lord's hands now. I hope someone can comment on whether I did the right thing or not, but I took to heart the comment that "you can't be a good soldier until you realize that you are already dead". I think I realize I'm already divorced and its time to end this situation that is stomping all over my dignity.