I wanted to share this for what it's worth about the power of prayer. I worked overtime yesterday until 7pm. Normally I am home by 3. Towards the end of the day I realized that I had forgotten to do something that my wife had asked which had to do with my parents. W does not contact me during the day anymore, so she never said anything to me. I called my folks and they told me W didn't tell them what she wanted, so I thought she assumed I would have. I knew at that point I was going to get either an earful about not being responsible, or even more cold shoulder with a side of snide attitude. So, on the way home in the car I turned off the radio and asked God that if it was possible to please make this a non-issue, to make things at home at least status quo, nothing added to make it more uncomfortable. Well, as soon I said the last word, my phone beeped with a text message. It was from her saying her and the kids were walking around the block so they might not be home when I get there. I know if she was upset about the issue I was praying about, she would never have written a text (unless it was an admonishing one). I felt better that it was going to be OK when I got home. Sure enough, it wasn't an issue, she never brought it up, and we actually spoke to each other a little bit. Praise God! 8 days until Retrouvaille...
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I found my Retrouvaille letter on the counter opened. She must have read it and left it out for me. Hasn't said a word about it. I read it, and there was a sentence in there that said something to the effect that even if you feel things have gotten worse after you decided to come, please come anyway. Since W has seemed to drift further away since agreeing to go, I was glad to see that.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
My W took me off her friends list, so I can't look there. I never really looked anyway, but my sister had called and asked why she had taken my whole family off.
What do you think she's trying to keep from you?
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Nothing. I think two things are going on. Firstly, she is lashing out at my family because she feels they are alienating her for what she is doing. I have tried to explain that they are not sure what to do right now, but they still love her and want things to work out for us, but she doesn't want to hear it right now. The other thing is that she might be in her mind beginning to move towards distancing herself from me. I noticed she also is not wearing her wedding rings at home. This all happened while she was in her monthly cycle which messes with her personality on a good day, so I am "believing none of what she says and half of what she does". Our MC we used to see feels that some of W's problems are physiological and related to hormones, indeed even her gynacologist recommended mild anti-depressants for her. Either way, I don't believe she is hiding anything from me. The rest of her family and our friends are still connected to me, as well as the guy I originally suspected of being involved with my W. If she wrote anything to him, I would see it anyway.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
I am, I was responding to Kevin's facebook incident. Then volleydog asked a question and I answered it. Note my earlier posts. I was able to interact with W as a friend last night. Tonight I will only see her for dinner, I have IC, and she has to go back to work for some training. I am cooking dinner. She sometimes says one day she'll cook a real dinner. Whenever I can, I will cook dinner because if she isn't going to, I want to make sure the kids aren't fed McDonald's every night. A lot of times when I work overtime, I will come home after dinner and the boys are playing with their new happy meal toys.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Yep. I got that. Was more responding to VD. Been down the McD road. For a long time my kids would just walk up to the window and ask for food when they were hungry.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
My W is a good mother, don't get me wrong, but a few things have started to bother me like the dinner thing. Also, she doesn't always stick to things she says to them. She'll tell them she'll play with them after dinner, and then get busy and not. Worse is bedtime. We usually put them in at 8:30. Sometimes she'll let them stay up another 15 minutes or so if they are really into a drawing or something. Fine. But then it will get stretched even though I am telling them it's time for bed. Next thing you know it's 9:00 and they are still up. I know she has problems with stress, and the kids are a huge stress. One of the mistakes I made was not being there when she needed help with them, so not just for her but for me, I want to make sure I take care of them as best as I can.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
O, You W sounds very simular to mine with the interactions with kids. Mistake I made was to let her know how wrong she was and how my way was better. Not only did it shatter her confidence it drove her out of the M. Like you I was struck with the I didn't do enough mentality. However, when I engaged my W became instantly defensive. Now I was playing on her turf and in her insecure mind that meant she wasn't good enough to handle it.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
