Hi all- I guess I'm moving here from Infidelity board, where you can find my story, or some of it anyway. Long stories short, husband of 2 years never treated me very well once we were married- probably because of his own issues with depression and possibly sex or romance addiction. I gave, he took. Lots of ups and downs. We have been in an LDR since March when he lost his job and had to take one halfway across the country. I visited him during my breaks from grad school. Things seemed to be getting a little better. Few weeks ago started getting mean on the phone, didn't make time to talk to me, etc. I snooped and found out a woman he just met sent him naked photos of herself- they were texting ,etc. And there was an email from an old friend suggesting that he had cheated on me before. Dramatic confrontation> he admits to 1 past infidelity when we were living together but says nothing has happened with the naked photo woman (uhhh...duhh) He said he knew he blew it, was sorry and ready for whatever I decided. Was initially unwilling to commit to therapy, wanted to know what Iwould do to save marriage! Told him it was over, he realized what he lost, called a zillion times, asked me twice to take him back, I almost did, then we talked about being friends and letting eachother live our lives happy and apart (aside from him cheating and treating me badly we also want some different things in life- there would have to be really big compromises which could cause resentment) Anyway I said I wanted to be with him but couldn't right now- I need to heal and stop being a doormat, he needs to get therapy and prob. meds and make sure he wants me for me, not for the things I do to make his life easier and not to assuage his guilt. He offered to move back here and go to therapy, said if we were apart we would basically forget eachother (based on what has happened for him in our LDR- I could be away from him for years and still be crazy about him). I have had conflicting opinions on the subject of whether you can work through this being separated. I don't even know for sure if I want him back in my life, and so much would have to change for it to work, I don't know if he can change that much- I change my mind constantly. Please give me your words of wisdom, folks! I meant for better or for worse, but also am beginning to believe in tough love.
