What a strange day. I have this big deal going on at work. Today was sort of a heartbreaking day, bad day for the otters. Its so tough to be professional sometimes! But Im really glad that I can really pour myself into my work, it keeps me busy, even though right now I have more than enough to keep myself very busy!
I have sort of come to this place where I really dont care anymore. I have zero expectations of this visit. I dont even care to see him. I have a road trip planned on tuesday for work, I should be back tues evening. H is supposed to come in some time tuesday. I could totally change the day of my trip, but I dont care if I see him or not, so I dont think that I will. This trip is important and, honestly, judging his behavior over the last 18 months, its more important than him.
I have started making plans that involve only me. I dont care how he will fit into them, or if he will. He had 18 months to take that into consideration.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Its so tough to be professional sometimes! But Im really glad that I can really pour myself into my work, it keeps me busy, even though right now I have more than enough to keep myself very busy! 
