A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

Well, the anger dissipated w/in the first few minutes of the potluck. I was simply having too good a time to be angry. H stayed by my side and introduced me by my name, which was fine. The town extrovert and good-hearted gossip maven told me privately that I have it made in the shade, so that's interesting. She's the kind who knows if it's a boy or a girl before you've even read the pregnancy test, so perhaps I will take some hope in that.

Re: anger... You know, it's amazing how quickly negative feelings dissipate when you're willing to actually feel them. Thanks to FOO issues, I grew up thinking that it wasn't OK to have, much less express, negative feelings. There were some strange IC sessions for me where I couldn't even put a name to certain feelings because I'd never been 'allowed' to feel them.

So now, yes, I feel anger - and I allow myself to feel it, to express it - but then it sort of just goes away. I'm not stuffing it, so it feels a little unusual.

Yeah, the situation will eventually be fatal for the M if it doesn't change, but that's a-ways down the road and I'll deal with it when and if it comes. (Afterall, tomorrow *is* another day. /scarlett)

As for the current OW, that's complicated. He took up with her about 4 months after I left. I had already filed. On the one hand, yeah, it was kinda quick to get involved with someone (pot, kettle - I know) so she's a rebound for sure. By the time I plucked up enough courage to bring up reconciliation, he was already seeing her - and he told me no. On the other hand, I sorta can't blame him for dating. The whole dating while divorcing thing is so grey.

So, it hurts that he's seeing her. It makes me angry that he's seeing her. But I don't feel betrayed like I did with OW1. And that's why I'm being patient. For now.

I'm open to suggestions for what to do about the anger, though - as well as input on how to handle the OW sitch it anything thinks there's a better/ different way to go about it.