It's all of the above possibly. It is hurtful. How you really shut that out, I'm not sure. My suggestion, don't believe a word he says. Don't engage him. What's the point? Eventually he'll tire of your ability to shut him out as he's being irrational.
Have you thought of doing this....agreeing with him?
What's this spot on the couch? You say "OMG!!! I have no idea! But you're right! How ugly!"
You don't need to fold laundry as it's a waste of time! You say "Good point, my time is valuable." And then don't fold it. When he bitches "My clothes are wrinkled" you say "Oh, sorry, I thought I would save some time and not fold it, but you're right, that looks shabby."
Go back and forth with him, not back and forth against him.
