Adopted Rabbit!!!! Thank you for brightening my day before it has even started! I am still chuckling that you feel that you have been adopted by me but that's more than fine, just gives me another purpose in life!
I could not be more proud of the way you are handling things at the moment - I am in awe of you! One word of warning has to be handed out though and that is - beware the crash, for it will come I am afraid! You may then even retreat to moping in bed for a day or two - most of us have done it and I know that I do it frequently! It's the roller coaster effect or the wave, that you may have read about here.
Not to dampen you though, you most certainly have that kick a**e spirit for now and you must use it to your full advantage. Plenty more of 'missing phone calls' and saying a polite no will make your H start to wonder what is going on! I like that you have paused before answering and it's even good to say "I can't answer that right now but I will give it some thought and get back to you" ... it's not a yes, it's not a no but it puts across the message that you are no push-over and it starts to command some respect. See it out.
Now, there were one or two things that I wanted to pick you up on so let me go back:
1) "I asked if he was still going to look after the cat when I went away for the weekend at the end of September or should I put her in the cattery.." Don't ask this of H. I did the same twice and twice I was sorry that I had. It's asking them to come back in to the home that they have run away from and it's asking to 'control' them for a weekend. They don't like it, they are scared and it feels like they are being herded back in to the fold. It makes them feel vulnerable again and H will resent you for making him feel that way. It also takes away your good efforts at showing your independence. You have a cattery that you use? Then use it!! He has left your home, he has left your cats. Harsh words but you are ready for them.
2) "Had a very therapeutic hour packing up all of H's clothes that he has shrunken out of" - done this too! It is therapeutic but the therapy only lasts a little while and it means that now H doesn't have the opportunity to pack his own 'dirty laundry' - why is that our job? If he wanted to leave, he should be cleaning up the mess that he is leaving behind him. Don't pack anymore! Sure if you want to gather things all together so that you don't have to be falling over stuff, then do so but don't make it easy for him to erase his life from your home. Get some boxes, put it all in there and then close the door on it. When he comes back to get his stuff, it will make him think.
Out of all the stuff that you wrote in your last two posts, that is all I can pick you up on and I reckon that you should go to the top of the class for being so quick to pick up on this DB'ing so fast! A+ Student!
The things that I really liked were that you have ordered your new iPhone, got out there and decided what job you are after, worked out that you have become a klingon (!), done some great 180's, held your tongue on ILY speech [that is so hard when it's been our vocabulary for all these years], didn't invite him to stay for his firing Saturday, told him that you were capable of looking after yourself (!!) and most of all, you handled the conversation with your S so very well, which he appears to have respected. Rabbit - you are bounding along!
I'm glad to see that LFA has also dropped by. Keep up that contact too. The more the merrier in so many ways, you only have limited perspective otherwise and it's good to get more than one opinion. Be careful though as there are one or two unscrupulous people here who purely have their own agendas, so keep your own counsel and do what YOU feel is right.
Will check in again this evening - you should be in bed now as my day is just starting. Marvellous start Rabbit ... you will be standing in the guru's shoes before long, I just know it!
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
