I can't afford a lawyer! She works for a law firm.
I always thought that our marriage was real, but I have reason to suspect that it was fraud. My wife is from over seas. Her ex-bf is from the same country. She returned to him when she left me. I don't know what to think. She really seemed to love me at one point and I hate to think of people in this way. My Grnprnts are frm the same country she is from too and I have spent much of my life with her countrymen. I am so so so confused.
I read some of gforce but there is so much. Could you point me to specifics.
she wants a divorce ASAP because when I blocked her communications, she was trying to get a hold of me to ask me to come see her and I didn't answer so she decided to get a divorce and go back home to her country.
my h tried to get me to sign too. no one in their right mind would do that without talking with a L. please find one. at least get a free consultation
also, so what if she wanted you to come see her? she could have written a letter about the reason for the meeting. she's just trying to manipulate you, and as you said, these visits have always been on her terms.
why are you guys living so far apart, and which country is she from?
also, i know you love her and how much pain you feel, but if you decide to just let her go and move on, no one will think any less of you.
she plays games and hurts you, over and over for the very same thing that she did. if she can't forgive you, let her move back to her country.
Just in case she is reading, I won't say where she is from. Ultimately I would have loved to save my marriage to her. I see her vulnerability as weakness rather than cruelty but I wanted her to fight for me rather than expect me to "figure out" what needed to be done. To me divorce feels like the end of the world and I had fought so hard to save the marriage, but she is right, there were many difficulties before we separated and our personalities clash in the way we deal with and experience life. I have been thinking that divorce is possibly good for her as it seems we have not grown up and will continue making the same mistakes in our lives especially together. I wanted to work with her in our lives and she just expected me to "know" what I needed to do. I often feel lost and needed her patience and a lot of it but she ran out and our time apart did not rejuvinate her in fact it caused more painful events. We live far apart because when she asked me for a separation I went to live with my step mom and she stayed put until she found a job down south. When she moved, it looked to me like she was done totally and that is why I tried to experiment with moving on but it didn't free me. The woman I was involved with was always very kind to me and reminded me that I was a worthwhile person rather than attack me for my plethora of character defects all the time. I do love my wife but I think she does not love me.
I read some of that. These WAW Spouses don't seem swift enough to understand that they apply a double standard. We should be embarrassed for them. They are delusional and self deceptive.
They maintain a double standard that paints them in a glowing light while we are so forgiving that we allow them to demoralize us because we want to save our marriages. Why do we do it?
Maybe we see divorce as the ultimate lie and we are codependent to the point that we don't want to see the one we loved so much be that liar.
I don't see that very many people here have actually gotten back to their marriages. It's too bad because I know that all things being equal they could be but the problem is that all things are not equal.
She has told me that she realized what she has done and does not like the kind of person she has become. We had a lot of honest conversations this weekend and she is going home to try and figure out her own head and heart. She is cutting all her ties with the USA and may never return. She should have gone home to Mom a year ago before she crushed herself and everyone that cares about her but at least Mom will take good care of her and she might just get her head together finally.
I am going to sign up for classes in college again. I gotta get my act together too.
Sorry to here Pain but all is not lost. This phyical sep may be good for her and you too. It'll be good to work on you and to live life and see where it leads you. Good luck and stay the course. The long distance will help with the no contact and it will only benefit you one way or another. Good luck and keep us posted. Remain the strong man you're becoming.
