Hey, Guys! There is a lot to chew on here. Thanks so much for the feedback. In your own ways, you are all able to touch on things that have helped.
Before I begin, DAM is "dumb-a$$ man." We men are all simple, stupid beings...and if any of us says differently, they are in denial. I found out the only way I can begin to "understand" women is to be willing to admit that I don't know $hit about women. Thus, I'm a self-proclaimed DAM!
Ok, now to try and address all of your posts:
Kat: I am questioning myself b/c I've never been here before. The questioning and doubt is a habit from my past where I'd let fear, doubt, and my own insecurities sink in and would in fact move to sabatoge things that were going good b/c I felt I "didn't deserve it." So, old habits do die hard, but I'm glad I have this forum to put my thoughts out there and all of you then do your part to help put me back to reality.
GAG: Lots of good questions and I'll try to do them justice. Regardless, know that they are very thought-provoking and have been helpful.
Ok, GF realized she didn't love her son's father and was only with him b/c she was fearing the end of her biological clock period and wanted another baby. She did try and try hard to make things work, but in the end she realized she was w/him for all the wrong reasons, despite trying to convince herself otherwise.
I do think GF is interested in a long-term relationship, but I think she's very wary of one b/c of the fact she hasn't had good long-term relationships in the past. I think she's afraid to invest time and get burned. As for therapy, she's just started a new job, so her benefits don't kick in until Oct. 1. At that point, she's hoping to start IC.
As for expectations, neither one of us are in a hurry to get married or move in together, so we're on the same page for that. However, we've both talked about things and seem to have similar goals concerning a R. The difference is I'm ready now to commit, while she isn't there yet.
I think her boundaries are ok, but they do need to be firmed up a bit. Again, she's planning on moving into IC in October when she has benefits, so most of my questions will most-likely be left unanswered until she gets that ball rolling.
Phoenixdeux: Great to hear back from you, my friend. It has been a long time. I really appreciate your post as it has allowed me to do some thinking.
First about her "anger" toward her X, she's not happy w/that at all and that is the reason she feels "not right" currently and is looking forward to IC in October when her benefits kick in. She has no romantic ties to her X, but she's still very bitter and angry about how he's treated her. The good news is she's looking to get something figured out w/IC on this subject.
The part of your post that stood out the most w/me is part about my need to refocus on myself and I couldn't agree w/you more. While GF has been in limbo of sorts, I've put myself there as well. So, again, you've got me thinking and today I was pretty ticked at myself for letting some of "my things" go and I vowed to get re-dedicated in a hurry.
I need to get back exercising for sure and my golf game needs to come out of the closet. So, once I can get those two things in order, I think I'll start feeling a lot more comfortable w/the situation w/GF b/c I'll be back to looking after myself and allowing the rest to merely fall where it is supposed to.
Again, thanks to all of you for your help and insight. I'll post a bit of an update on GF and I in a bit.
I found out the only way I can begin to "understand" women is to be willing to admit that I don't know $hit about women. Thus, I'm a self-proclaimed DAM!
