Pheewwww H phoned, and I managed to stay short, calm and definitely mysterious. Explained that I had seen an unusual payment and knowing that he would have said if it had been him lodged a dispute with the bank and was awaiting the form to reclaim the payment. I also asked that once he had paid the mortgage and checked out what was due, could he put a large sum into the bank account (he normally moves several hundered over every week) so that I could take paying everything onboard. He also asked about the other account and taking my name off it so he could use it and I replied I was still thinking about and left a big pause as in Im not done thinking about it so he had to move on to another subject.
He asked about having a computer that is upstairs and I politely said no as I had things that were on it and he would be capable of building a new one, he immediately said I know its my problem, and I replied politely please dont put words in my mouth I didnt say that!
He asked what I had been doing and all he got was "keeping busy there is always lots to do" although I did mention I had sorted out a new phone and whilst on there had asked about the broadband which he wanted to change to, so will go ahead with that.
I didnt ask anything about when he was moving in or how he was, or how was work, although he did say he was at work, (usually when he is at work late bearing in mind he has been there since 7.30am he is tired and fed up) I asked if he was still going to look after the cat when I went away for the weekend at the end of September or should I put her in the cattery.. Apparently he will as he has a firing turn ( he fires steam trains for a hobby) early on the saturday, he mentioned he didnt know when he would come up.. big pause.. as if he was waiting for me to scream come stay here my love he was mistaken.. and neither did I ask him if he was coming up on saturday even though my heart was desperate to say so! He said that of course we would be in touch before then, and I said well that is up to you! His parting words were for me to take care of myself, my reply was that I am sure I am quite capable of that.. and there it ended..
My 180*s
Not to be needy Not to want to know every aspect of his life To remain calm and confident To say No politely (instead of losing it) to what I wanted To sound as if I am coping (not falling apart which tbh even my son thought I would take to my bed and mope and bless him he said he was proud of me for not doing so)but I am coping intermitantly but H doesnt know that..
I know he will have found it very strange not to hear that I love him lets face it he has heard it nearly every day for nearly thirty years and what ever he wants of his life now I know that has got to hurt him, as under all this MLC he is genuinely I believe still my dear kind lovely husband! One can only hope cant they!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
