I guess I can answer my own question. If it is truly real, if you really are happy and independent, it will not seem forced.
You got it! Not the challenge for you is "How do you get there?" Face the fear head on. If your fear is of D, the investigate D and learn everything you can about it. If your fear is of being alone, then plan out what life alone would look like. Once you have done that sort of thing, you will find out that you really aren't afraid of it any more, because you'll realize that (to quote Coach ) "You can handle it!"
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My fear is that it will either make her resent me, or worse, affirm to her that I will be fine, so it is OK for her to leave.
She won't resent you for being independent, but she WILL resent you for being dependent. If she thinks that you can't handle losing the R, then she will continue to lose respect for you as long as she is in the R and thinks that, and that lack of respect will drive her out the door.
She will never stay in the M (long term) out of guilt, and even if she did, is that the M you want to be in?
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I know the answer is that then it IS ok for her to leave. I am not there yet.
[2x4] Get there!
Not by being angry, but by looking and realizing that if she leaves, you can handle it.
[/2x4]
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
) "You can handle it!"
