Tricked into seperation

[lonelywolf]

Thanks for the comments, all. Some more info:

One thing to realize is that I proposed (about a month ago) that she give me a year to prove myself, pay down the debt, find a good job, etc. She did not respond - in that e-mail above she states her immediate plans are to file for divorce. So she's blown that option off the table as far as I can tell.

I can't see how she's telling me what I need to do to change and win her back if she's planning on filing for divorce. She can file either today or tomorrow (depending on how you calculate the 90 days and which day was her "first" in AZ).

However, I am working hard at repenting and talking to my "bishop" and getting counseling, and paying down my debt. She knows I've been doing all this, and I asked her to give me 6 months to a year to keep doing it and prove myself. Her response is above. It seems clear to me she's not. But then, if I could read her better, we wouldn't be in this place.

Well, I was referred to a few lawyers down there. I was warned away from a few others. The first one I called, the one that I was told by several people was the absolute best one in the area, but also wouldn't overcharge me, well - that must be the one my wife has, as they told me on the phone "we have a conflict." That's all they would say, but I think that was enough.

The second law firm said they didn't do anything if kids are involved. The third one (with a pretty good reccomendation) said they would consult with me on the phone in two weeks, but that they would need a 4000 dollar retainer if they took the case (they said any excess would be refunded, but at 200 bucks and hour, I may have to pay more). I don't have 4000 bucks handy, but I have paid off more than that in credit card debt this summer, so I guess I'll just go back to (close to) where I was when this all started.

I don't know how else to get a lawyer. Several people warned me away from the others in the area. Of course, I don't know a lot of people in the area, but I've been using church connections (we're both Mormons, if that helps any).

I did have her "bishop" say that he was going to try and talk to her this week, and that he would call me this week to get my side of the story. I doubt that will help - her parents have obviously so poisoned her mind against me; the above e-mail sounds more like her mother than like her (it sounds like her channeling or being fed lines by her mother).

Interestingly, my mother checked her e-mail this morning, and my wife cc'd her on the above e-mail. My mom is debating whether to write a very cordial reply or not.