After 30 Years!

[Lost Rabbit]

Oh dear dont you hate it when life shows you what you are and not what you thought you were!

After doing my 180* this morning and then missing both H's phone calls I went off to my interview. It was with an agency regarding some temping work, and when she asked why go back to work now I explained that my H had gone and now I needed to give myself some security, but having been out of the workplace for two years I want to break myself in gently. She was very supportive and I left feeling that I wasnt so far behind in IT career as I had led myself to believe and that it was worth giving some of the jobs a go and not settling for not so well paid admin prospects.

I sat in the coffee shop feeling a little glum and decided to return home, then the penny dropped.. OMG what had I become, a needy, clinging, chicken.. Over the past few years I had turned into a klingon, that relied on my H to do everything and had lost all confidence in my ability to be a (as my friend said today) a kick ar*e woman, well she is back lol. So this afternoon I have organised my Iphone which I have wanted for ages, along with a new sim card I haggled my provider down as I am a valued customer and told them its about time I got something back.. asked about their broadband service as H wants to change it over as its cheaper still as I am already a customer. This evening I have applied for two IT contract jobs, not in the town I really want but hey its a start and if I can get a foot in the door maybe next contract can be in the town I prefer.. I really want to get into IT Project Administration, thats my ideal job as H says I can organise for england and have a great deal of common sense!

Now how to I quell this over whelming desire to ring up H and tell the "kick ar*e girl" is back.. Dont panic I know I cant.. just have to show him whilst being short, blunt and mysterious lol, that should be a challenge then.

Had a very therapeutic hour packing up all of H's clothes that he has shrunken out of, yep he is in full MLC, lost three stone, got new glasses, has signed up for italian lessons, well that might come in handy one day if I ever get him to whisper sweet nothings in my ear! But it felt good like I was packing him away too.. Had a very lazy tea a juicy bacon roll, naughty but I did enjoy it and my PMT required it. My son phoned and started talking about his dad and I politely managed to say I dont want to know that which he respected and stopped, bless him he is a good lad, just wish he wasnt in the middle of the mess.

Tomorrow, well got Chiro first thing and then I will have to find something to rejuvanate the "kick ar*e gal" mmmm what to do suggestions on a post please!