What would your fantasy game plan be? What would not being a better person be?
I don't understand what you mean here.
I think you figured it out in a way. But really, when you are complaining about this being too hard, I wonder what the alternative is? What you would do right now if you gave up on all this DB stuff and went with your gut. It is an illusion that there is some other way...DB is just doing what works and what makes sense, not a set formula. When you look clearly at your options, then you can choose a path. Otherwise it is, "I don't want to do x..." so, what are your y or z options? You are getting in reality here. I am not referring to your fantasy outcome...but your plan of action.
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
I think you have some notion of how you could get through this easy or more effectively...lay it out and you'll be better able to see the reality. You are not in control whether you are a better person or not.
I do? Can you give me a little hint?
Same thing. You don't like this. So, what are your options? I think you only have a couple...it is pretty clear.
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
“This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”
I honestly do not get what this means either.
Well thanks for telling me so I can stop reposting it. To me, it means, you know you want your family together and your wife in your arms. But you deal with the day to day and logistical decisions based on the current reality. So that you are not constantly in a state of distraction and vulnerability. For example, I do not want a divorce, but, if my H does not provide support or stick to an agreement or continues to date other women indefinitely, I will have to take appropriate action to protect and care for myself and my kids. YOu have to do both...want what you want but be a whole person living in the present and taking care of business.
Coach could give you a better and more succinct explanation. But I think I'm close and it works for me.
To me, it means, you know you want your family together and your wife in your arms. But you deal with the day to day and logistical decisions based on the current reality. So that you are not constantly in a state of distraction and vulnerability. For example, I do not want a divorce, but, if my H does not provide support or stick to an agreement or continues to date other women indefinitely, I will have to take appropriate action to protect and care for myself and my kids. YOu have to do both...want what you want but be a whole person living in the present and taking care of business. 
