So yesterday WAW emailed me asking if I "objected" to her having an extra day of custody this month -- "I have to make my hours."

I emailed her back saying that I wasn't going to split hairs like that. I mean, it's not like I'm going to run to the court: Yerhonor, Yerhonor! She only had custody forty-FOUR percent of the time last month! I want 20 more bucks!

To which she replied, "I'm anal, and I don't want to be accused of 'dumping.' And I'd like to see them and I bet they want to see me."

Now of that last sentence there can be no doubt. And I've never suggested she didn't want to see them or vice-versa. But the motivation for the "extra" day was clearly to maintain the percentages (i.e., the money), because among other things they're going to her house tonight and will be with her all weekend long -- and a 4-day weekend week after next -- and a 5-day weekend in October (marathon) -- and etc., so it's not like there's a paucity of seeing on the agenda.

So I replied in a silly vein, "Ahh, talking with the lawyers, again, eh?" Because that's what we've been saying when these kinds of things come up, in a jokey-teasing way.

No reply.

But this morning, caller i.d.: "Mrs. SP."

So I pick it up -- as does The Boy Himself, who sees the caller i.d. on the base station phone, and when Mom calls it is ALWAYS for the kids.

SP (in a sing-song voice): Hellooooo!

THE BOY HIMSELF (at same time as SP): Hi Mom!

MRS. SP: Let's just f*cking stipulate that I'm a g*ddam f*cking bitch! You're getting divorced from a f*cking g*ddam c*nt b*tch! You a**hole! I never want to talk to you about anything other than the f*cking kids again! F*ck you! You're lucky to be getting free of me I'm such a f*cking b*tch!" (Click!)

Well. The Boy Himself certainly got an earful. "Mom said swears! She said the F-word! A lot!" And by the look on his face, it was unclear to him if he should be shocked or thrilled.

So I tried to cover -- I think your Mom must have been really, really angry with someone at work and accidentally called us -- and dialed her back, but she wouldn't pick up.

Each day, brothers and sisters, each day suggests to me more and more that it may be me, Smiley's Person Hisself, who is getting the better end of this deal.