Well, this was a terrible weekend. I found out she is still seeing the OM and will not agree to stop seeing him even if that means eliminating family time. She views the ultimatum I gave her as a form of control and she is proabably right.
Hi DWinter, It seems like you stated it as, you dont want to be around her while she is going out with this other guy. This is NOT "controlling".
What she is doing, is sometimes called Gaslighting (derived from the movie, "Gas Light"). She's the one doing something wrong, but she's trying to convince you that YOU'RE the one in the wrong. Yu're not.
Let's look at this carefully. To "control" someone, is to force THEM, to do something. What you gave as an ultimatum, was not forcing her to do anything. You only stated your intent to "control" yourself, and your own actions. You want to protect yourself from feeling bad, while she is hurting you. There's nothing wrong with you doing that!!!
Your wife is doing the PeeCee kneejerk. She wants to have something to complain about to her friends/family. So she's on the "He's Sooo ConTROLLling..." kick. A decade or so again, it would be "He's EmoTioNaLly Abusive!".
But as far as I can see, you are neither of those things. She's just making excuses to justify her own bad behaviour.
